The new year came and went by in a flash it seems, and it's with incredulity that I watch the season change from scorching summer to cool autumn. A reminder that the circle of life and the passage of time is ever-flowing. It's a welcome change, something to embrace :)
Mother Nature makes the metamorphosis seem so effortless, that I can't help but wonder:
Is it supposed to be easy?
Or at least, easier than what it feels like now. Making the transition from who you used to be, to who you are meant to be. You don't easily hear young people talk about the struggle, as if admitting to it would be to admit that one is weak or incompetent. I am only too aware that I am fast approaching the big 2 5 in June, and I wondered how many of my peers share the same sentiments.
A friend recently sent me an e-card that read:
I miss being the age where I thought I would have it all figured out by the age I am now!
Needless to say, I canned myself. It's hilarious, but only because it's TRUE :O
My friends and I are in consensus: Our twenties are a messy time in our lives.
Somehow, we just don't find ourselves where we thought we would be. It's a huge, unexpected wake-up call. And it's not because we didn't have goals or dreams or didn't work hard. We just realized that our dreams were even bigger than we thought, and that it'll take a little longer to get there.
It's the worst growing pains imaginable. We are finally spreading our fledgling wings and earning life experience.
This past year has been a whirlwind, no wonder time has gone by so fast! I've had to adapt and change faster than I ever could have prepared for, and the experience has taught me some invaluable lessons. Lessons that I carry like battle scars and a little bit of wisdom that I'm proud to share:
1. Stop expecting it to look like what you thought it would look like
Big break? Big mistake! Even with supposed fame and fans, there are no shortcuts to "making it big". Contrary to popular belief, there are no stylists or make-up artists on our shoots. It's you and the crew. You pack your own lunch. Sometimes I leave home when it's dark and only get home when it's dark. No, they don't buy you clothes; you wear your own. If they do get clothes for a particularly styled shoot, you don't get to keep it. You still have to go to castings and auditions to prove yourself, and work even harder because others assume you got a free ticket to be there. You do any work that guarantees either major exposure, or money in your pocket. You build your brand and buy your independence one gig at a time. It's tough. But glorious. La vie boheme :)
2. Take your ego out of the equation
Ah... I think back fondly to my student days. I had a bursary covering my living expenses. Every gig I did was pure spending money. Man, did I live it up! Out every weekend, meeting people, going places.
I was the "It-girl". Fast forward 2 years and I have a budding career in the entertainment and media industry. Some would say "OMG, she's so lucky, she has it all!" What I have is a great opportunity, and I'm determined to work my ass off to take it as far as I can. Reality check: As a freelancer, you're not guaranteed steady work or a steady income. Yet I now pay my own rent, buy furniture, pay my own student and study loans. Life is expensive. I don't live with my parents and yes, I miss my mother's cooking.
This inevitably means I have less spare cash lying around. I can cry for money I wasted in times past.
And yet, I wouldn't change a thing :) It builds character for real. There is no "trying to keep up with the Joneses". Materialism fades away by necessity. I simply cannot base my worth on what's in my pocket. I constantly remind myself, "I am rich in possibility and potential, with so much to offer professionally". I have taught myself to live more simply, with more humility and gratitude. To stop comparing my situation with other young people I know. That friend partying it up every weekend, always going to every live concert at Greenpoint stadium? She still lives AT HOME. The wealth side of things will catch up soon enough. It's totally ok if my dream home and dream car have to wait a little!
I don't have to prove anything to anybody. Pressure off :)
3. Learn who your friends are, and who you want to be as a friend
The result of a simpler life is that you realise who's in it with you for the right reasons. I have been blessed to have many friends over the years. Some stayed, some went, but all of them taught me something different about people and life in general, and especially about myself. Not everyone has your best interests at heart. People can be selfish even when they don't mean to be. I've learned first-hand what it is to be a bad friend, to hurt and be hurt by someone. I know the pain of losing people I thought would always be there.
But I've also learned to become a good friend, and have the love of good friends in my life. And when that happens, it changes your life. Friendship is not always easy, but it is one of the most beautiful things we get to experience. You get to share your burdens and joys, encourage and support each other in your endeavors, and learn and grow together. It's an honest and true bond. And when I need a reality check, my friends will call me on my bullshit in the nicest way possible ; they're the voice of reason when I need it the most.
I consider myself blessed at this young age to have a small core group of friends that are the real deal. We've gone through so much together. They've seen me at my best and my worst, and still think I'm worth it. They inspire me to want to be a better person. I can only pray that I'm as good a friend to them as they are to me.
Wow, this is a long post! I guess the gist of what I'm trying to say is:
Hey, even if you don't have it all together yet, don't be discouraged by how far you still have to go. Don't be so hard on yourself. Be grateful. Look at how far you've come already. Rome wasn't built in a day. Have faith.
And lastly: buckle up for the ride of your life, with the people that make the ride worth it!
Mother Nature makes the metamorphosis seem so effortless, that I can't help but wonder:
Is it supposed to be easy?
Or at least, easier than what it feels like now. Making the transition from who you used to be, to who you are meant to be. You don't easily hear young people talk about the struggle, as if admitting to it would be to admit that one is weak or incompetent. I am only too aware that I am fast approaching the big 2 5 in June, and I wondered how many of my peers share the same sentiments.
A friend recently sent me an e-card that read:
I miss being the age where I thought I would have it all figured out by the age I am now!
Needless to say, I canned myself. It's hilarious, but only because it's TRUE :O
My friends and I are in consensus: Our twenties are a messy time in our lives.
Somehow, we just don't find ourselves where we thought we would be. It's a huge, unexpected wake-up call. And it's not because we didn't have goals or dreams or didn't work hard. We just realized that our dreams were even bigger than we thought, and that it'll take a little longer to get there.
It's the worst growing pains imaginable. We are finally spreading our fledgling wings and earning life experience.
This past year has been a whirlwind, no wonder time has gone by so fast! I've had to adapt and change faster than I ever could have prepared for, and the experience has taught me some invaluable lessons. Lessons that I carry like battle scars and a little bit of wisdom that I'm proud to share:
1. Stop expecting it to look like what you thought it would look like
Big break? Big mistake! Even with supposed fame and fans, there are no shortcuts to "making it big". Contrary to popular belief, there are no stylists or make-up artists on our shoots. It's you and the crew. You pack your own lunch. Sometimes I leave home when it's dark and only get home when it's dark. No, they don't buy you clothes; you wear your own. If they do get clothes for a particularly styled shoot, you don't get to keep it. You still have to go to castings and auditions to prove yourself, and work even harder because others assume you got a free ticket to be there. You do any work that guarantees either major exposure, or money in your pocket. You build your brand and buy your independence one gig at a time. It's tough. But glorious. La vie boheme :)
2. Take your ego out of the equation
Ah... I think back fondly to my student days. I had a bursary covering my living expenses. Every gig I did was pure spending money. Man, did I live it up! Out every weekend, meeting people, going places.
I was the "It-girl". Fast forward 2 years and I have a budding career in the entertainment and media industry. Some would say "OMG, she's so lucky, she has it all!" What I have is a great opportunity, and I'm determined to work my ass off to take it as far as I can. Reality check: As a freelancer, you're not guaranteed steady work or a steady income. Yet I now pay my own rent, buy furniture, pay my own student and study loans. Life is expensive. I don't live with my parents and yes, I miss my mother's cooking.
This inevitably means I have less spare cash lying around. I can cry for money I wasted in times past.
And yet, I wouldn't change a thing :) It builds character for real. There is no "trying to keep up with the Joneses". Materialism fades away by necessity. I simply cannot base my worth on what's in my pocket. I constantly remind myself, "I am rich in possibility and potential, with so much to offer professionally". I have taught myself to live more simply, with more humility and gratitude. To stop comparing my situation with other young people I know. That friend partying it up every weekend, always going to every live concert at Greenpoint stadium? She still lives AT HOME. The wealth side of things will catch up soon enough. It's totally ok if my dream home and dream car have to wait a little!
I don't have to prove anything to anybody. Pressure off :)
3. Learn who your friends are, and who you want to be as a friend
The result of a simpler life is that you realise who's in it with you for the right reasons. I have been blessed to have many friends over the years. Some stayed, some went, but all of them taught me something different about people and life in general, and especially about myself. Not everyone has your best interests at heart. People can be selfish even when they don't mean to be. I've learned first-hand what it is to be a bad friend, to hurt and be hurt by someone. I know the pain of losing people I thought would always be there.
But I've also learned to become a good friend, and have the love of good friends in my life. And when that happens, it changes your life. Friendship is not always easy, but it is one of the most beautiful things we get to experience. You get to share your burdens and joys, encourage and support each other in your endeavors, and learn and grow together. It's an honest and true bond. And when I need a reality check, my friends will call me on my bullshit in the nicest way possible ; they're the voice of reason when I need it the most.
I consider myself blessed at this young age to have a small core group of friends that are the real deal. We've gone through so much together. They've seen me at my best and my worst, and still think I'm worth it. They inspire me to want to be a better person. I can only pray that I'm as good a friend to them as they are to me.
Wow, this is a long post! I guess the gist of what I'm trying to say is:
Hey, even if you don't have it all together yet, don't be discouraged by how far you still have to go. Don't be so hard on yourself. Be grateful. Look at how far you've come already. Rome wasn't built in a day. Have faith.
And lastly: buckle up for the ride of your life, with the people that make the ride worth it!
 |
| Chill, you're having the time of your life... :) |
Love and light!
Lynelle ♥
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